I’ve been watching or listening to a lot of football recently (it seems to be on constantly!) and revelling in the language that surrounds the game.

Match commentary often includes some wonderful metaphors, for instance…
“[the defence are] staying at home making sure the back door doesn’t open.”
“[Spurs are] parking the bus.”
“Gradel sells Bullard a dummy.”

An advert for a betting shop includes reference to the phrase “couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo”. I’d never heard that one before. A quick online search suggests it’s Irish slang (a banjo being a kind of shovel), also used for darts and other activities that require aim.

It’s common to hear teams or players mentioned in the plural when given as examples (“yer Gerrards, yer Carraghers, yer Carrolls…” or “yer Chelseas, yer Arsenals…”), and I’d say it’s getting to be squeaky bum time now we are at the business end of the season.